I know it has been a while on the pregnancy update front, and I apologize deeply. I wanted to write a post to you guys that really explains my lack of posting and how I have been feeling in the past weeks. My goal is to always be up front and honest with my followers, so this post is very important to me.
As some of you know, in December I left my job managing a restaurant. Along with leaving that job, I feel like I lost a lot more than a source of income. I wrote about my experience of moving forward here if you’d like to read more about it. Basically, I felt like I lost a lot of my close friends upon leaving my job. Which was devastating to me, as I really felt close to all of the people I surrounded myself with there. My intentions when leaving that job weren’t to get a new job right away, rather I wanted to give growing this blog a shot. When I saw two pink lines on a pregnancy test, my plans changed quite drastically.
When I found out I was pregnant, I felt a lot of pressure from myself and maybe from some outside sources to make this blog very successful. However, I felt like none of the content I was creating was me being true to myself. I felt like I was pushing too hard and it wasn’t coming across as authentic, which is my main goal for this blog. I want to be someone relatable and I want to be up front and honest with all of my followers and I didn’t feel like I was accomplishing that. So, I guess I just decided to post the bare minimum with my weekly updates and pray that the “writers’ block” passed.
After our big move, we didn’t have internet for about a week, week and a half and I wasn’t able to post. So, that gave me a little bit of time to think about what new content I wanted to create. I couldn’t think of one darn thing to post… So, I didn’t post anything. This did nothing but pile on the stress. I felt terrible, like I was letting you guys down, letting Freddie down, letting my little family down. I desperately wanted to post something and I had nothing to say. Well, for some reason at two in the morning, an idea hit me.
To be honest with you, the past month or so, almost two months, have been really overwhelming. I have had an overwhelming sense of loneliness and isolation which hasn’t been easy to deal with. I know that I’m not depressed because I’m not sad, I don’t feel like a threat to myself or my son. I am genuinely happy to be pregnant and to be in my new house and to have a wonderful partner in Freddie and two amazing little puppies. With that being said, being alone for most of the week is really hard. I left my job at the restaurant to follow a path that I had always wanted to try and I’m so thankful that I did that because some people never get the chance to experience something like that. With abandoning one path and following another, I also got to experience something else I had always wanted, being a mother. The biggest lesson that I have learned is that it isn’t easy to follow your dreams. I really wanted to start this blog to help people and share with others and be honest. I’ve learned that isn’t always easy.
My advice to you is to do the same, while following your dreams isn’t always easy, it’s something I can say I have done. My blog isn’t where I want it to be yet, and I know that there will always be room for improvement. I know that some people have given me weird looks, I’m sure thinking,”This girl is crazy, she left a stable, well-paying job to start a blog? What is wrong with her?”. Nothing. Nothing is wrong with anyone who decides to pursue a goal. One of my goals has always been to help people but I never knew how. I thought that I really wanted to be a nurse and the more and more I sat with myself the more and more I realized it wasn’t for me. I thought that I wanted to be a teacher, but with that profession I wouldn’t be able to spend time with my future children how I would like to. So, as cheesy as it sounds, I truly feel like this is where I am meant to be right now. I think that God put this opportunity in my lap and I am so thankful for that. I never imagined that I would be capable of doing something like this, let alone have people follow my updates. While it may not be as many people as I would like, if I can just have one person see my post about following your dreams and how this blog has helped me overcome my feelings of loneliness, then I have accomplished what I have set out to do.
So, that is my keeping it real moment for the day. I wanted to let you guys really know where I was mentally and why I wasn’t around as much. I don’t want to make promises that I will write five days a week every week, I’ve learned with pregnancy that some days you really just don’t feel up to it. Especially after spending the day running errands for baby things or after a day of cleaning the house. Sometimes, I just need a day to lay in bed and catch up on sleep. So, as much as I would like to have a solid schedule for you guys, I really don’t right now and I hope that doesn’t deter anyone from continuing to follow my blog. What I will promise is at least one post a week from now on and I promise that I will try to not let myself get in my own way. A lot of this could have been prevented if I just opened my eyes and realized that I was doing what I could. So, thank you for sticking with me through this!
I hope that I haven’t lost any of my amazing followers and that you guys will stay on board with me throughout this growing process. Please, please, please if you guys every have a question or you just need someone to talk to, reach out to me. You can always contact me through the contact form on my blog or by emailing me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I am always open to talking to my followers and I am so thankful for all of you. Did you feel any sense of isolation or loneliness while you were pregnant or in between jobs? How did you deal with that? Let me know in the comments below or shoot me an email, I’d love to hear from you!